That thing beyond forever....

There was once a boy, no, a man, with the most honest eyes and the most genuine smile. This girl, she used to see him from the corner of her eyes, laughing, working and fooling around. He had an aura around him which made anybody near him feel comfortable and welcomed. He was charming, hell yes he was. He was unruffled and accommodating, he had the magnetic power of attracting any girl who would spend some time talking to him. This girl was no exception, but there was something else that no one knew. The boy secretly liked her too. He used to observe her, smile at her carelessness and easy-go-lucky stints, scrutinize her actions. This kept on going for days when he finally decided to let go of his inhibitions and talk to her. Then she saw his message on Facebook one evening, she was ecstatic, beyond happy, she couldn't believe her eyes. But sheltering and concealing all of that, she replied as modestly as she could. From then, it all begun. Long witty conversations, egos flying, love welling up inside. An array of emotions were at ride. Phone numbers were exchanged, dates planned, mischievous smiles stolen, glances hidden. And then it happened, they fell in love. Hard to say who fell for who first, it just happened, inconspicuously, unknowingly, innocently.

Everything was beautiful, mesmerizing, grand and ostentatious. This was it, she had been waiting for this man all her life. She would never let go of him, never hurt him, and never be a burden or liability on him. It was perfect, picturesque. Both of them were exultant and soaring high, there was no looking back.

She loved him like never before, gave him all she had. 

Maybe that’s where she went wrong, she trusted him too much, too early. Got barefaced too easily. She should have been a little cautious, a little reluctant. After all she had been subjected to hurt, pain and lies way too many times. It was her fault, she was to blame. She deserved the pain she was going through. Marred at the hands of love, this was nothing new to her. It was too “been there done that” for her.

Then why? Why did it hurt so much more than ever before? Why did her heart feel so sore and buffeted? It felt like the end, like she would never feel her heart again, the pain would never go. She felt like a dead man walking and he probably didn't even care about any of it. She should have seen it coming. But she could do nothing about it, he didn't want her, plain and simple. He had thrown her out of his life like dregs and dross, for real and forever. She didn't know why and I guess she doesn't even want to know anymore. It will just bring more vacuum, more blows.

He said the most hurtful, upsetting and spiteful things but she’s just saving the fall by believing that he didn't really mean what he said, it was probably just a bottom out, bummer phase. She’s still waiting for that phase to pass. She doesn't know what’s going on in his mind, whether he’s ever coming back but she’s not ready to let go yet. She won’t call him or message him, she has no plans of vexating him. She’ll quietly and patiently wait for him to come back, count her existence, tell her that he needs her to carry on with his life, that he wants her by his side, every step of the way, that he has missed her, he still misses her. She’ll halt and wait for a miracle to happen all her life without clamor, without accusations, without any grudges. All for love, all for the memories, all for what he is and all that he stands for.

He brought her sunshine, brought her rains. He gave her all that she had ever dreamt about and more, he gave her a reason to look down the memory lane fondly. He brought out the woman in her, escalated her maturity. He taught her how to rise up but stay rooted to the ground. Made her believe in herself and square her shoulders. For all this and a lot more, her adulation and love for him will forever stay and grow inside her. Whether he’ll come back or not is a different story…..

There are no words sometimes for the pain that finds us. Only time, as it drips along, into a new day, a new breath, a new smile, a bigger fight, a braver you.

                                                                                                            -Anonymous

Love is but just another word. It’s people like us who define it and make it substantial, yielding, pure and exemplary!!

                 -Akankshaa Diksha Sharma